Motha Russia

I have very limited internet access. More blogs to come, including: Latvia, food stories, sleeper train to Moscow, Red Square, and Mullet hunting.....stay tuned.

Much love from the former USSR for my loyal followers

Russia Quotes, etc.

"We pretend to work, they pretend to pay us" - Soviet saying

On Monday we had the opportunity to go on several trips to different businesses and operations around Klaipeda, which is the only ice-free port in the Baltic. The second visit of the day was to the Kalipeda State Seaport Authority. We were given a presentation on the port by the marketing director....a middle aged awesome Russian guy. He had a sweet accent that sounded like Shawn Kuykendall/Leon Kerensky, and he spoke decent English. But he kept calling people out for falling asleep in his presentation, and he said some ridiculous stuff like... "Klaipeda port ees a giant sausage, I don't know what to do with it". He also liked to say "those big motha ships" whenever he talked about tankers.

Basically he was Nick Mud with better handwriting.

My favorite moment happened when he was describing ISPS..."Which stands for....internationally...system...at the different ports from around world for...uh...security"

...Now that I think about it, maybe he was telling us what ISDPAWUS stands for. I applaud him for his effort.

Vilnius - Lover's Locks & KGB

There's a new tradition in Vilnius that was apparently borrowed from Florence, Italy. On their wedding day, couples place a lock on the bars of a city bridge and throw the key into the water-apparently to symbolize the unbreakable bonds of love. Some lame dudes also take their girlfriends to place a lock on the bridge on Valentines Day...It's only romantic until they break up.

On a lighter note, we also went to the former KGB headquarters/prison.

It was pretty chilling. The old building was full of tiny prison cells that held 20 prisoners at a time, execution rooms full of

bullet holes from over 2000 executions, torture chambers, and hidden graves.

In one particular room, the floor was sunken several feet to hold ice cold water. A small metal disc was at the center of the chamber slightly above the water. Prisoner's would be made to stand for 3 days at a time on the disc. If they fell from exhaustion, they would be soaked and freezing as they returned to the disc. This process would go on until the prisoner made a confession or died by passing out into the ice water.

The most shocking part was that the prison was active until 1991 when it was finally shut down. So awful... so recent.

Copenhagen Airport

Jet lag is the weirdest thing. I got on a plane in Newark around dinner time, flew until morning, and woke up in Copenhagen....all before midnight. Doesn't make much sense, but my tiredness does. I wish I had slept more during the flight, but terrible movies kept me awake. I couldn't resist watching Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Just kidding... but seriously.

I wasn't in Copenhagen for long, but I had a funny cultural experience as soon as I arrived. After getting off the plane we walked through security and into the main terminal. And, of course, the first thing I saw was a table of European middle-aged men with several beer cans apiece....at 7:30am. Ridiculous.

Vilnius, Lithuania

I'm finally starting to adjust to the time difference, but unfortunately it doesn't get dark until after 10 at night and the sun rises before 5am. Thankfully, I've been too tired to notice... otherwise I might never sleep.

Believe it or not, Lithuania is actually unbelievably beautiful. I thought it would be grey and ugly. Picture the way Russia looks in movies... pretty terrible. Lithuania is nothing like that. I could literally take a picture of any building in Vilnius and it would make a worthy screensaver.

Hopefully I can upload some photos to prove it. The gigantic cathedral was one of many cool buildings, and the underground crypts were strait out of the library scene in The Last Crusade. Creepy, but full of sweet

medieval coffins and tunnels.

The cathedral was the start of our tour of the city which ended at a restaurant straight out of Robin Hood. It was an old dungeon with a candlelit chandelier and weapons hanging on all the walls. We had three dinner knives... Erol Flynn's utensil of choice.