Tights, Tightropes, and Tasty Treats

As some may have noticed from my Facebook statuses, I’m am no longer in Russia, but unfortunately I’m a little behind on my blog. Before this blog can leave Russia and catch up with me, there are a few more things I need to highlight.

As part of our "academically rigorous program" we made a corporate visit to a Russian IKEA plant, or "HKEA" as they like to spell it. More importantly, however, we went to the Mars Candy Factory in order to learn some valuable business lessons while floating down the chocolate river munching on Snickers. It felt like a day on set at the Discovery Channel, an episode of Mr. Rogers, and a non-creepy version of Willy Wonka all wrapped into a nicely packed box of chocolates. The factory smelled so good that I almost turned into Augustus Gloop and plunged into a river of chocolate in my desperation for a taste. Luckily the Mars staff saved me by supplying each student with a generous bag of treats. I thought about ending this entry with a "snickering"comment, but maybe that's a little much.

During my time in Russia, besides stuffing my face, I was able to see the legendary Russian Ballet, as well as the Russian circus. Both were incredible.

The ballet was Swan Lake, which a lot of people may know from the Looney Tunes version. The music was amazing, and the dancers were all on top of their game. I had a great view from my box seat, and felt very cultured for once, as I took in one of the premier ballets in the world. However, the ballet was not necessarily my cup of tea. I mean, I was extremely impressed by the dancing, the athleticism, and the grace of it all, but something about the dudes prancing around in tights got a little old after three hours. The story was also a little hard to follow, but I think I got the gist of it. There’s a dancer guy. He falls in love with a dancing swan….and then they dance around for a couple of hours. I meant to check out the synopsis online, but I think mine’s about right. Either way, despite the tights, if you get a chance, see the Russian Ballet. They really are amazing at what they do, all joking aside.

Some may feel that it would be a threat to their masculinity to go to a ballet, but I’ve already got a beautiful girlfriend, so I’m not too worried about it. If you do happen to be more into dude stuff, however, the circus is the place for you. These Russian acrobats are amazing. Their acrobatics would make Flip Wilson proud. The whole show was fun from start to finish. They had a troop of crazy trained poodles, giant seals, 8 tigers, beautiful people, non-creepy clowns (if that’s possible), ridiculous flying and flips, sickening contortionists, and weird cirqu-du-solie stuff, and everything in between. It made me feel how I look…like a little kid. There were some lamer parts to the show, like the strong man who lifted fake weights and spun big swords, and the evil tiger trainer who loved using his whips. PETA would have a field day with his act, but when it comes to that kind of thing, Russia has no rules. He was kind of a jerk though, and I wouldn’t mind seeing him get just one little paw to the face - nothing damaging, just a little something to set him straight.

Overall, it was one of the most fun shows I’ve seen, and had me gasping and laughing constantly. After the show I couldn't help but shout in typical Russian/Mom fashion, “bravo!”